The question of the duelling mind

Its midnight and I have a pounding headache... therefore I can't sleep (a revelation, I know)

This is a weird post but I feel that I have to vent it otherwise I will not sleep for a while.

Im going to be frank... I ain't no ladies man. Sometimes my blacked out alter ego gets lucky but for the most part... I swing, too fast, too slow... I miss.

I have come up with a number of possibilities in my mind for why this is the case and honestly none seem to fit more that the fact of over complication.

The one thing that seems to hold true is that when I have encounters of the romantic kind I usually am not sober. Cheers its fun.

But what I am starting to realize about these primal encounters is that I usually have no idea what I did to provoke them. Again cheers its fun.

But I think I am starting to realize that maybe that's the one good thing that comes out of those encounters.

I don't think...While this may seem counter intuitive to safety, health, the general welfare of others, and many other things, in one aspect I think that the Austen I can never remember has something right among all the wrong things he does.

But this "success" is based on instinct alone and this I do not like.

There must be some balance between the instinctive fool of last night and the pondering one of this morning. Somewhere, where the fool is just human and not a ball of though bouncing off every wall, every crack, and every bump.

I think this might hold true to all things in life and with time maybe I will become "human."

Twist around,
up and down,
twist and shout
never feel doubt.
Question...why?
Is there nothing else left to try?
Race to one side than back to the other.
The mind collides with its Darwinian brother.
What is there that the mind perceives,
that is not jailed like convicted theives?
Brush off your shoulder and start the new day.
Is this not the American way?
Instinct and thought are bound to clash,
the question is where will you dash?
The primal side beckons with lust and hunger,
yet rationale also booms like thunder.
The only answer is to dive in between
and see what you think your life really means.

Man, im sorry for talking all of this cracker shit but I had to get my mind to vent. Maybe one day I'll at least stop writing this god awful poetry haha.




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